A meaningful life is not something handed to us. It’s not a pre-written script, a universal truth, or a formula that works the same for everyone. Yet, so many of us have been conditioned to believe that meaning is something external, something dictated by culture, family, or society—a checklist of accomplishments, roles, and milestones that define what a good life should look like. We are told that meaning is found in success, in productivity, in the approval of others. We are taught that certain things should matter to us, even if, deep down, they don’t.
And so, we chase things that don’t actually fulfill us. We pour energy into careers we don’t love, maintain relationships that don’t nourish us, and set goals that don’t resonate with who we really are. We convince ourselves that if we just reach the next milestone, the next achievement, the next approval, then we will feel whole. But we don’t. And we wonder why.
The Lies We’ve Been Told About Meaning
The biggest lie about meaning is that it has to be grand. That in order for something to be truly meaningful, it must be widely recognized, important to many, or impressive enough to be validated by others. We are told that meaning is found in being extraordinary, in doing things that leave a legacy, in making an impact that others can see and celebrate. But the truth is, meaning is not about external recognition. It is about internal resonance.
Another lie is that meaning must be tied to struggle. That if something is too simple, too joyful, or too easy, then it must not be valuable enough. That suffering and sacrifice are proof of purpose. But meaning is not something that needs to be earned through hardship. Something can be meaningful simply because it matters to you.
And then there is the lie that what has meaning should be the same for everyone. That family, career, service, or achievement should hold the same weight for each of us. But meaning is personal. It is not a one-size-fits-all truth. What makes one person feel alive might feel suffocating to another. What fills someone else with purpose might leave you feeling empty. And that is not failure—that is human.
The Cost of Believing the Lies
When we believe these lies, we betray ourselves. We override our own instincts about what matters to us. We push down the quiet voice inside that says, This isn’t it. We force ourselves into lives that don’t fit, trying to squeeze meaning out of things that were never meant to fulfill us.
And over time, that takes a toll. We begin to feel restless, lost, disconnected. We question why we don’t feel the satisfaction we were promised. We may even gaslight ourselves into believing that something is wrong with us for not feeling fulfilled by the things that are supposed to matter. We tell ourselves we should be happy, that we should feel content. But we don’t. Because we are living a life that does not belong to us.
Owning What Is Meaningful to You
What has meaning to you, has meaning to you. It does not need to be justified, explained, or understood by anyone else. It does not have to look important to the outside world. It does not have to be profound or groundbreaking or impressive. It just has to be real.
But to embrace that, you have to be brutally honest with yourself. You have to strip away the noise, the conditioning, the expectations, and ask yourself: What actually matters to me? Not what should matter. Not what I’ve been told matters. Not what other people expect to matter. But what actually, deeply, undeniably matters to me.
This kind of honesty can be uncomfortable. Because sometimes, the answer is not what we want it to be. Sometimes, what is meaningful to us is not what is socially celebrated. Sometimes, it is not what our families want for us. Sometimes, it is not what aligns with the identity we have built.
But the process of acceptance is the process of freeing yourself. It is the process of acknowledging that you are not here to live someone else’s version of a meaningful life. You are here to live yours. And the sooner you stop fighting against that truth, the sooner you will find peace.
The Real-World Implications of Living Your Truth
Living a life that is truly meaningful to you is not always easy. It may mean disappointing people. It may mean choosing paths that don’t make sense to others. It may mean stepping away from relationships, careers, or expectations that once defined you. But the alternative—continuing to live a life that is hollow, disconnected, and misaligned—is far worse.
When you start to honor what is meaningful to you, life begins to feel different. You no longer seek validation in places that were never meant to give it to you. You no longer waste energy chasing things that don’t fill you. You stop waiting for meaning to come from the outside and begin to create it from within.
You wake up with a sense of purpose—not because someone told you what your purpose should be, but because you defined it for yourself. You begin to feel at home in your own life, no longer living for approval, no longer measuring your worth by external standards, no longer suppressing what you truly want.
And that is the kind of life that is not just meaningful—but yours.
